Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he shaved USA in his pubs
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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