I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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