i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
