I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I CAN MOONWALK!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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