Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
