they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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