Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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