my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The power of my boobs compel you
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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