well most of my day revolves around power hour
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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