Do you still have your period?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
