Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
