I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
