who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize