i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
