I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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