I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
