her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize