Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
