i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
