Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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