He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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