there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
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