Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
