I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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