i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
