I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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