Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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