Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
