tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
