I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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