My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
