so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
