woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Randomize
