youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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