Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
