Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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