Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
