yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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