I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
