Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
