He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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