Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
