she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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