He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
