I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I forget how to act sober
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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