Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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