Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
