I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
