4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
