These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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