WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
