I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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