Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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