I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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