I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
