Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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