I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
