Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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