gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
