yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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