I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
