I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
