I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
